Even With Alicia Keys, Speedy 'American Idol' Show Fails To Inspire

It’s the first hourlong American Idol episode. And you know what that means, time for ninety-second performances where the contestants have no chance to build to any sort of climax or show what they can do. Oh joy!

In honor of this ridiculous night, let’s rush through the intro and get straight to the recap.
A nice sped-through introduction from Ryan. I imagine we’ll be seeing plenty of this expedience as they attempt to shove seven performances in 44 minutes. . .er. . .one hour.

I think Alicia Keys is great, but did she really change R&B forever? Isn’t that just a tad bit hyperbolic?

Yeah, I’m sure Crystal just happened to ask Alicia, “How does it feel to take part in Idol gives back?” while the camera was shoved in her face. No prodding there whatsoever. Okay, that’s the last bit of charity snark out of me.